Toddlerisms: Submissions

Do you have a kid who says the darndest things? Send your submissions to toddlerisms@gmail.com. All names will be changed to protect the funny.

The Cast

The main characters: Secondo and Terzo, "Irish twins" born ten months apart, in 2006 and 2007. From January through March each year, they are the "same age," which is quite confusing to folks who don't know us.

The supporting cast: Primo, the "big brother," born 1999. Mom and Dad ("X," which really is what I call him in real life), born ... somewhat earlier. Quarta, born in 2010, very cute, and getting funnier by the day. Quinta, born November 10, 2011. Fortunately, she was not born on her due date of 11/11/11, which would have rendered me morally obligated to name her "Nigel," even though she is a girl.

The French guest stars: Grandmère and Grandpère. Grandmère is X's take-charge mother, who occasionally comes undone over her inability to stop Quarta from referring to her as "Poulet!" (chicken). Grandpère is X's conservative, old-fashioned father--with whom Quarta incorrectly believes she is on a first-name basis. So now when we hear Quarta bellow, "JAAAAACQUES!!!!," we know Grandpère is somewhere in the vicinity.

The American guest stars: Sorella, my younger sister of infinite patience, and her cute-as-a-button toddler, Cugella, also known as the Terror of the Bible Belt. At least until our next visit.

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