So here I am, making dinner. The usual chaos is unfolding around me. Whatevs. Except it's getting louder and louder and eventually I realize a FISTFIGHT has broken out and somebody has landed a punch.
Me (turning around): "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"
Secondo: "Mama's making RISOTTO!"
Terzo: "NO! Mama's making ORZO"
Me: "STOP THAT RIGHT NOW! And FYI, I'm making orzo."
Terzo (climbing up onto the kitchen stepstool): "Ok, Mama, FIRST you add TWO TABLESPOONS of unsalted butter. That's what it says in the WECIPE."
Make that yuppie super-genius children. Terzo is 3 1/2. There were 4 recipes listed on the two pages of the open cookbook, only 1 of which was orzo. What was the first ingredient in the orzo recipe? 2T unsalted butter. And STILL the geniuses at the Eugene 4J school district will not answer my queries about possibly having him tested. And I am embarrassed to call again because I DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT want to be "That Mom."