Throwing Terzo Under the Bus

The offense:  Secondo and Terzo deliberately threw my (only) nice bracelets down the stairs, shattering them into a million pieces.  I witnessed the whole thing.  Typically when they get a time out, there is a great deal of arguing, complaining, and whining.  This time, they apparently knew immediately that there was going to be no debate, that they had done a Very Bad Thing.

Me:  "Okay, time out!!!!"

Secondo and Terzo:  [Silently skitter over to "time out" and spend their three minutes in prison staring at me with saucerlike eyes.]

Me:  "Okay, it's been three minutes.  WHAT DO YOU SAY TO MOMMY?''

Secondo:  "Terzo did it!"

Arrrr, I not be washin' tonight!

Terzo, sobbing:  "A CLEAN booty is a SAD booty!"

Drivin' to the oldies

Secondo:  "Mom?"

Me:  "Yes?"

Secondo:  "One is the loneliest number."

What if we called them your "freedom" cousins?

Dad:  "Are you going to teach your new baby sister how to sing the alphabet in French?"

Secondo:  "I don't speak French!"

Dad:  "Well, how are you going to talk to your French cousins when they visit us, then?"

Secondo:  "I don't like French people."

Terzo:  "I speak-a da FRANCH!"

So sorry to disappoint you

Terzo:  "Damn!"

Me:  "Don't say that."

Terzo:  "Why not?"

Me:  "It's not nice."

Terzo:  "AWWWWWW!!!"

I'll set the alarm!

[Scene: The bathroom.]

Terzo: "I sitting on the potty! But I don't have to pee!"

Dad: "Do you have to poop?"

Terzo: "No. That in fifteen minutes."