Why I No Longer Speak At All In Front of Them

Me: "Tickle tickle tickle!"

Terzo: "DAMN! That tickles!"

In which I channel Marlin the Clownfish

Secondo: "MA-ma, are YOU my CONSCIENCE?"

Me: "Yes!"

Scenes from the car: Near-conniption avoidance

Me: "Terzo, STOP THAT SCREAMING!"

Terzo: "But I'm not done crying!!!"

Scenes from the car: The butt edition

Secondo: "I'm sitting on my BUTT!"

Terzo: "No, you're sitting on MY butt!"

Secondo: "No, MY butt!"

Terzo: "No, MY butt!"

I wasn't born last night, kid

Secondo: "MOM! Dada says you're CUTE! ... Can I have some cake?"

Um, where are YOU shopping?

Terzo: "MOM! I don't have my eyebrows today!"

Me: "Huh?"

Terzo: "They at the store."

I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to say this to your mother, either

The scene: Running down the sidewalk together, Terzo and me

Terzo: "Watch where you're going, BUDDY!"

The Brat Pack, a Scene From the Car, with Apology to Dean Martin

Secondo: "When da MOON hit yer EYE like a big PIZZA PIE, DAT'S AMORE!!!'