My son the chef

Secondo, holding up a bottle of cumin: "MOM! Dad says dis HUMANS!"

Toddlerism contest!

First person to answer this question correctly becomes the 1st annual Toddlerism Contest champion:

Secondo: "MOM! Who dat man on da ROCK?"

To whom is he referring?

I've got nothing

Scene: DH has just left with his friend Jeff to attend a study group for an upcoming exam. Jeff has thoroughly charmed the kids before leaving.

Secondo: "Mom!"

Me: "Yes?"

Secondo: "Is Jeff Daddy's HUSBAND?"

Wow, they really DO listen to everything I say

Morning at my house:

Terzo: "Mom, TALK TO ME!"

Me: "Yes, honey?"

Terzo: "How do I LOOK? Do I look PRETTY?"

Everybody's a critic

Secondo: "Do we have CANTALOUPE?"

Dad: "Let's check."

Secondo: [Opening the refrigerator and finding a lack of cantaloupe.] "Well, this is RIDICULOUS!"

You're not supposed to flirt with your mother

Time: Early morning

Place: The car

Occasion: Dad, Secondo, and Terzo dropping me off at work

Terzo: "Bye, BABY!"

Don Juan de Toddler

The scene: Preschool, at dropoff. While leaving, I glance back over my shoulder, to see Secondo promenading across the schoolyard holding hands with not one, but TWO little girls.

This kid is going to be trouble.